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Tales from a Fractured Folly : Thursday 19th January

I was catching up with some old workmates today, so up again promptly. There are more of us that have left now than remain, which probably goes to explain one of the problems with staffing in the NHS. Working in the hospital lab seems to be an occupation for life, so at some of these meetings there are hundreds of years of experience in people full of glee that they are out of it. Someone should try and find out why. I wish they would talk to me.

I arrived home to see little Bertie sitting on the back of the sofa waiting. This picture isn’t the best but as I got closer he ran to the front door to meet me. You can just make him out if you zoom in. His face is the small white speck in the bottom right of the window. The camera on this phone has never been quite the same since it got washed with the sheets. 

Groovy Word of the day : Anticipation 

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Tales from a Fractured Folly – Wednesday 18th January.

I had planned to go out to Rock Choir and sing this morning. That meant I had to get up in the gloom. All in a day’s work for most of you but don’t forget I don’t have to do that any more. I don’t think it’s quite right to have to get up in the dark. 
I enjoyed the singing and as I already knew a couple of ladies there it was a very pleasant sociable thing to do. I got home to find this card from my GP to thank me for some flowers I sent them. In these days when everyone is bashing anything NHS related if they can, I felt that the care and concern shown by the District Nurses and my GP, especially regarding Adrian’s wish not to go to hospital, went above and beyond. So I thanked them with some roses I sent to the surgery. He sent me this card as a thank you and said me and my family should feel proud of ourselves to have looked after him at home. (Tears again also triggered by me thinking I need to drink his juicy up. I am really having a problem with juicy)

So in the middle of this sobbing I get a phone call telling me I have the job. Hasty recovery, deep breaths and a lot of help from the soldier and we have an acceptable conversation about things that will happen and need to be done. So I am to be an exam invigilator when I have been checked and trained. Obviously not a full time job but will suit me perfectly and it’s so near I could probably cycle in the summer. I won’t because while getting there would be a piece of cake, getting home at the end of the day would be hard work. And I have nice cars.

Groovy Word of the day: serendipity


Tales From a Fractured Folly. Tuesday 17th

This was always going to be a busy day. First off an interview for a job. You may think that odd but Adrian was well when I applied and my need for occupation is even more now than it was. Then a quick trip to sign some stuff at the solicitors. I was meeting my friend Anne for a meal at Ask before going to the pictures to see La La Land. No time for too much thinking. Lots of jobs and doing things. This seems to work. 


Tales from a Fractured Folly – 16th January

Bought some narcissuses today to brighten up my lovely but overwhelmingly white flowers. I have always loved these little things as they are a promise of Spring and better days. I am in serious need of that today. I heard on the radio that today was the most depressing day of the year. It felt it to me.   I have a swirling sea of sadness inside and    mostly I can keep it at bay, but should I?        I think I have to live day to day and let time work it’s magic. 

On the positive side I did manage to get round Waitrose and even mastered the Quick Scan gizmo, although I forgot to bag as I went so I had that pleasure when I had finished. Not an exciting day but ok.

Groovy Word of the day.  Mellow


The Tales from a Fractured Folly – 14/15 January

I am trying to fill my days with company. Evenings aren’t so bad. There is a chance of finding something half decent to watch, but the days can seem to me interminably long and somehow sadly pointless. Especially when it’s your Wedding Anniversay.

I don’t think I am a natural nurse. Don’t get me wrong I am very efficient and probably  quite good, but I don’t ooze sympathy and patience. But nursing usually is made more purposeful by your patient improving. Nursing someone who is getting slowly sicker is a very particular kind of thing and it’s obvious to me now how much of my time and thought was taken up by it. Now… I feel a bit surplus to requirements and it’s an uphill battle to fight the demons. It’s your head that does you in; your mind wanders when not amused and you recall memories that are not helpful. The time not so long ago when there was nothing left to try, when he held me tight and said, “I’m done for now aren’t I P?” All I could do was smile and nod. That was no time for lies and false optimism.

And this is no way to start another week. I have had a good weekend. Been for a walk with my friend and her dog on the hill which was a whole lot more eventful than we would have wished. More of that another time. Friends for a meal in the evening, after which I fell asleep. More friends invited me for Sunday lunch, where I fell asleep again. This keeping perky lark must be very draining. God how I miss my best friend.

Groovy Word of the day. Melancholy

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Tales from a Fractured Folly – Friday 13th January 

It did snow in the night but only a little and not enough to spoil my plans. The Paceman came back, the vicar came to visit and then I went out to lunch. 

As it was freezing cold and windy I shut up the house early, sat in front of the fire and fell asleep. I caught up on some tele with both cats sleeping round me and made a pot of tea. Very cosy. 

Groovy Word of the day. Tranquility


Tales from a Fractured Folly – Thursday 12th

Now I am just getting smug. The calendar arrived and it is pretty good. I have the joy of pictures of Worth hanging in the kitchen for a whole year. If I put my Beastie head on and criticise, I would say the pictures are a bit on the dark side, but I should have remembered. Something to do with the rendering darkens them and they needed lightening before I sent them and it very hard to remember one year to the next.

A lazy start to the day and an early (9.15) visitor in the form of Sue from across the road. At that time of day I was still in my onesy and I remained so all morning as we nattered. I had the good news that the Paceman has been given a new clutch, followed by the not so good that the alignment needs sorting because the steering wheel isn’t straight and the tyres are wearing oddly. That will be done by tomorrow. The predicted blizzard could have passed unnoticed, even up here. 

Before anyone else asks, I am eating and here is a picture of my homemade sausage casserole that I made for supper tonight.