It is very sad but fitting that we shall get to the end of the year with Worth in very poor health, struggling to eat, confused to distraction. This time it will not resolve itself. This time the big C means business and there is nothing left to keep it at bay. The irony is that having won its battle it will then expire itself, for without Worth to host its parasitic greed it will cease to exist. What a vile disease it is. Gates can only sit and watch as Worth slips away and hope his anxiety and distress can run its course with as little unpleasantness and time as possible. It seems impossible to think that only two weeks ago they decorated their tree together.
They still have a succession of visitors which is lovely for Gates but tiring for Worth. Gates’s daughter came home for the weekend which helped Gates enormously and helped her organise life a little better.
The cats are behaving for once. Bertie sleeps with Worth most afternoons whilst Ola finds her own bolt holes to avoid him. The house is unnaturally quiet. The last day of the year; will it end badly or will the next begin badly?
Gates wrote this on the evening of 30th December and all is resolved now by ending badly. Poor Worth died this morning.
For Gates the immediate prospect is too awful to contemplate but once the initial tasks are done then she must remember to smile for him.
Worth always loved her smile.