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The Tales from a Fractured Folly – 14/15 January


I am trying to fill my days with company. Evenings aren’t so bad. There is a chance of finding something half decent to watch, but the days can seem to me interminably long and somehow sadly pointless. Especially when it’s your Wedding Anniversay.

I don’t think I am a natural nurse. Don’t get me wrong I am very efficient and probably  quite good, but I don’t ooze sympathy and patience. But nursing usually is made more purposeful by your patient improving. Nursing someone who is getting slowly sicker is a very particular kind of thing and it’s obvious to me now how much of my time and thought was taken up by it. Now… I feel a bit surplus to requirements and it’s an uphill battle to fight the demons. It’s your head that does you in; your mind wanders when not amused and you recall memories that are not helpful. The time not so long ago when there was nothing left to try, when he held me tight and said, “I’m done for now aren’t I P?” All I could do was smile and nod. That was no time for lies and false optimism.

And this is no way to start another week. I have had a good weekend. Been for a walk with my friend and her dog on the hill which was a whole lot more eventful than we would have wished. More of that another time. Friends for a meal in the evening, after which I fell asleep. More friends invited me for Sunday lunch, where I fell asleep again. This keeping perky lark must be very draining. God how I miss my best friend.

Groovy Word of the day. Melancholy

Author: ibeastie

Interested in Photography, Watches, Style and Cars

4 thoughts on “The Tales from a Fractured Folly – 14/15 January

  1. I am not a good nurse, either. My husband was great taking care of me last year at this time when I was going through all my ‘stuff.’ It has got to be hard when the patient doesn’t get better. I have so much admiration for how you have managed to hold it together. I think you falling asleep is you body’s way of saying, ‘Time to catch up on things.” I am glad friends seem to have gathered around–walking with a dog has got to be a truly wonderful thing. Take care of you!

    • Walking with the dog would have been lovely. The incident inferred to involved my friends dog being attacked by a Staffy thing. In trying to remove said staffy from her dogs leg while the owners good and watched she got her hand bitten badly and had to go to our local hospital to get tetanus, antibiotics and generally cleaned up.

    • Hadn’t finished. Don’t you hate those things sometimes? Her hand is not broken but they feared it might be. So the police are involved now. I think in US some breeds are banned? This little piece of work should be muzzled when out. It was entirely unprovoked .

      • Oh, Mastiff’s. They are huge!! And expensive, too. Not a fan. And the owners stood there?? Well, I am glad the police are involved but hope her hand and her dog are OK. How terrible for all this to happen.

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